“I don’t know why I go to extremes. Too high or too low, their ain’t no in between.” Billy Joel
In between is the sweet spot. The place where we find the seemingly elusive balance. Where the pendulum rests.
Decisions are often are made in extremes as a result of something going too far. An argument, a policy, a death. As if going to the completely other side will somehow bring balance and the pendulum will rest. But gravity is inevitable and the pendulum slowly swings back to center – in between.
In between can also be a place where guilt resides when we don’t do enough. Or, when we do too much and our relationships and health suffer.
However in between is where we find solutions. Where we compromise and seek first to understand – first inside ourselves then with others. In between is judgement free. In between is where forgiveness and love live.
“The space between is where you’ll find me waiting for you.” Dave Matthews.
Today Glenn and I celebrate 20 years of marriage. Like all things good in my life, it was a journey to get here. And I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s easy to see the pictures of togetherness and love because nobody wants to take a selfie when they are in the middle of a heated argument. But here are some things we’ve discovered along the way.
We’ve had to fall in love with each other over and over again. We’ve had to stay committed when it was easy to leave. We’ve had to talk about the hard things and leave our egos at the door. We’ve had to admit when we were wrong and leave being right out of it.
We’ve watched our bodies grow old and come to love our wrinkles. We still find each other incredibly sexy. We find comfort in knowing we will be there to care for each others ailing and aging bodies.
We’ve learned the art of compromise and the significance of making lasting memories. We learned that marriage is a garden that needs tending to daily in order for it to grow and bloom.
These things we’ve learned…and we are still learning.